Woman, Wife, Mother

Have you ever had a day when you’ve just had enough? Enough kids, enough work, enough husband, enough washing, just enough everything. I know I have, and I’m pretty sure most of you know exactly what I mean.

So what do we do about it?

Options we’ve all tried probably including curling up under the duvet and having a cry, having a mommy temper tantrum, getting a case of the sorries, or my favourite – picking a fight someone, preferably the husband! While this may relieve the stress for a while, it certainly doesn’t solve the problem.

While I don’t have all the answers, I do have something we should all think about. Ourselves.  Yes  – I said it – we need to think about ourselves.

I believe that many people get so caught up in the day to day travails of life – fetching and carrying kids, dealing with work stress, deciding what to cook for dinner, what have you – that we fail to consider our own needs.

You see – before we were wives, before we were mothers – we were women. And we forget to take care of that element of ourselves. We were women first. Individuals who lived a life independently of others. We need stuff that’s just for us – time to be ourselves – possibly even a little bit selfish, just for a moment.  And I truly believe that those times that are just for us, ultimately make us better mothers, wives and generally more pleasant to be around!

Fortunately, in today’s society, there are lots of ways to do this. Join a gym, take up a hobby, be part of a club, do something just for yourself. And it doesn’t have to cost a lot of money either – or take a lot of time!

Like many families these days, we’re on a tight budget. I can’t afford to join a gym or go to a yoga class. But I have developed some little ways to have those few moments to myself – and they don’t cost a cent!

My favourite way to have time out is generally on a weekend morning. My girls are old enough to wake themselves up and can even sort our their own breakfast. On weekends, they are allowed to get up – WITHOUT waking me – and switch on the telly. A treat for them (as telly is pretty limited in our house). And then, when they are fully occupied with the goggle box – I get my treat.

I have a bath. Preferably with bubbles. With the door shut. And everyone in the house knows – this is MY time. It may be for twenty minutes, it may be for a hour. But my moment of peace and quiet is in that time. I ignore the yells, fights and yowling kitties. I ignore the TV show that may not be of my choosing. I ignore the sound of milk splashed onto the floor. I have time out.

My next favourite escape is an even smaller moment. The ladies in my office simply do not understand why I get up an hour before I wake my children during the week. My reason is simple – I get to do the lunchboxes, have my shower and – this is the critical bit – have a cup of tea in peace and quiet BEFORE the kids wake up!  I treasure those moments – generally the silly gossip guru is on the telly, and I listen to trash TV stories about Paris Hilton or Charlie Sheen or what have you (most of the time it just goes over my head!) and I have my tea. While it’s still hot. And then, when the tea is gone, I wake the girls.

I treasure those moments. They may be small, but they’re mine. And they remind me that I’m still me. More than just a mom, more than just a wife. Me.

I’d love to hear about your little moments – perhaps you can inspire me to take a few more!

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. jenny
    Mar 16, 2011 @ 13:58:21

    I agree the Quiet time is like a re charger for a battery. My Ultimate Me Moment is @ the Hairdresser I know we PAY them but for a specific time frame you are fussed over, complimented (if the stylist is clever ) and taken care of- the complimentary TEA also a good drawing card!!!Oh I almost forgot I have two sons so – escape to the Mall- they HATE HATE shopping especially window shopping, otherwise I do a coffee date with a girlfriend. x jen

    Reply

  2. Caryn
    Mar 17, 2011 @ 07:35:43

    I am still learning how to do this. Having a six (nearly seven) month old does not really leave time for me to go off on my own. I used to do crafts until it became a problem with Zoe fiddling with what was left out. But I have found a good way of zoning out on some silly tv show with emma drinking or sleeping in my arms.

    I know I need to focus on some zone out time. I just need to work on HOW.

    Reply

  3. mandylc
    Mar 17, 2011 @ 10:08:12

    Caryn, when Megs was a baby, I’d watch the grand prix on Sundays. I’d lie on the couch, with her my chest and listen to the drone of the cars go round and round and round… and soon enough, both she and I would be watching through closed eyelids.

    It is harder once the second one arrives. Especially when hubby is on shift and there are no grandparents handy to take them for a bit – even if its just for half an hour to have your haircut as Jen says!

    You’ll find your moment. You might even already be having it, but haven’t plugged in the charger during that moment.

    Writing the blog entry was a bit of a moment for me. I hardly ever get time to write for fun anymore… so thanks for giving ME a moment!

    Reply

  4. gmross
    Mar 18, 2011 @ 13:11:27

    While this is written from a women’s perspective, it applies to the men around as well. All too often we too forget to take time to ourselves, to do something that isn’t work, or family. I love messing around in the garage, but it’s been absolutely ages since I’ve had the opportunity to do so.

    It’s a pretty general thing that we all need some “me” time. Time to just relax, and get rid of some of the stresses that fill our lives. With kids around it gets quite hard. Before them we could each go off in our own direction, and have our “me” time at the same time. With the kids, one of us always has to be around looking after them, which sometimes makes it difficult.

    The main thing to remember though is that although we are individuals, we are also part of a couple, and part of a family. There needs to be balance in all three areas. Otherwise you’re neglecting a part of yourself, and that is never a good thing.

    Reply

  5. mandylc
    Mar 19, 2011 @ 09:46:51

    I totally agree – in fact, the whole couple/parent thing was going to be one of my future blog topics!

    Reply

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