Mother tell your children …

This little chat was inspired by one of those simple polls you get in FB. It was a choice of what advice you would give a younger version of yourself. I started thinking what I would tell my daughters instead. Yes I have regrets, I have things I have learned painfully. Maybe I can spare them some heartsore .. and of course there were the things I was told and never believed.

So I will work on the basics of the poll I would have created from my mom’s advice:
* This too shall pass
* Nil illegitimatii carborundum
* You can’t expect to be loved until you til you love yourself
* If you fall in shut your mouth

This Too Shall Pass
Whatever you are going through in life, be it difficult friendships, exam stresses, depression or just life, given time it will pass. You won’t always be in high school with its inherent strains. Your deadline will eventually pass and you will be able to focus on something else. Your pain at being hurt or dropped or ignored by someone will ease as you make new friends. It will pass – but you need to lift your head and get through it the best you can.

Nil Illigitimii Carborundum
This is the polite way of saying “Don’t let the B** grind you down”. You can’t give anything more than you have to give. Your best is all anyone can expect from you! People will always try to be dominant – try to put themselves in the upper position. You need to learn what your strengths are and not let others define who you are.

You can’t expect to be loved until you love yourself
We all want to be loved. We all want to be accepted by those we look up to. But until you believe in yourself (pimples, cellulite and funny frizzy hair) no one else is going to think you are lovable (well except mom and gran). This was a long life journey for me. I filled a lot of time saying IF instead of saying WHY NOT. I think I missed a lot of opportunities and a lot of potential friendships because I was so busy focusing inwards that outwards passed me by.

I think I also made the mistake of selling myself short. We need to believe that we deserve the best. What makes us less worthy of being happy or loved? Believe that you are worth it and others will recognise that you are too.

If You Fall In – Shut Your Mouth
This one is a strange one. My mom used to scream it when we whizzed around the pool. And it grew later to mean anything we were getting ourselves into. If you fall into a situation where you feel you are drowning – don’t be silly and swallow water. Do something about it. Be prepared. And learn to swim sooner than later.

Falling into the water is not the problem. Deal with what you can control – and control those things. Someone will come along shortly to help you out – you just need to be above water to catch the lifebelt.

Mothers Advice
We all know that just as we had to learn our lessons, so will our kids. It is finding the wisdom to know when to let them buzz around the pool – and when to get the lifebelt ready.

As moms – what advice do you think you should have been given – or believe that your kids will be better off knowing? Please let the rest of us hear it.

And for the best advice we can give to Mothers from Mothers read Mandy’s blog.

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