Woman, Wife, Mother

Have you ever had a day when you’ve just had enough? Enough kids, enough work, enough husband, enough washing, just enough everything. I know I have, and I’m pretty sure most of you know exactly what I mean.

So what do we do about it?

Options we’ve all tried probably including curling up under the duvet and having a cry, having a mommy temper tantrum, getting a case of the sorries, or my favourite – picking a fight someone, preferably the husband! While this may relieve the stress for a while, it certainly doesn’t solve the problem.

While I don’t have all the answers, I do have something we should all think about. Ourselves.  Yes  – I said it – we need to think about ourselves.

I believe that many people get so caught up in the day to day travails of life – fetching and carrying kids, dealing with work stress, deciding what to cook for dinner, what have you – that we fail to consider our own needs.

You see – before we were wives, before we were mothers – we were women. And we forget to take care of that element of ourselves. We were women first. Individuals who lived a life independently of others. We need stuff that’s just for us – time to be ourselves – possibly even a little bit selfish, just for a moment.  And I truly believe that those times that are just for us, ultimately make us better mothers, wives and generally more pleasant to be around!

Fortunately, in today’s society, there are lots of ways to do this. Join a gym, take up a hobby, be part of a club, do something just for yourself. And it doesn’t have to cost a lot of money either – or take a lot of time!

Like many families these days, we’re on a tight budget. I can’t afford to join a gym or go to a yoga class. But I have developed some little ways to have those few moments to myself – and they don’t cost a cent!

My favourite way to have time out is generally on a weekend morning. My girls are old enough to wake themselves up and can even sort our their own breakfast. On weekends, they are allowed to get up – WITHOUT waking me – and switch on the telly. A treat for them (as telly is pretty limited in our house). And then, when they are fully occupied with the goggle box – I get my treat.

I have a bath. Preferably with bubbles. With the door shut. And everyone in the house knows – this is MY time. It may be for twenty minutes, it may be for a hour. But my moment of peace and quiet is in that time. I ignore the yells, fights and yowling kitties. I ignore the TV show that may not be of my choosing. I ignore the sound of milk splashed onto the floor. I have time out.

My next favourite escape is an even smaller moment. The ladies in my office simply do not understand why I get up an hour before I wake my children during the week. My reason is simple – I get to do the lunchboxes, have my shower and – this is the critical bit – have a cup of tea in peace and quiet BEFORE the kids wake up!  I treasure those moments – generally the silly gossip guru is on the telly, and I listen to trash TV stories about Paris Hilton or Charlie Sheen or what have you (most of the time it just goes over my head!) and I have my tea. While it’s still hot. And then, when the tea is gone, I wake the girls.

I treasure those moments. They may be small, but they’re mine. And they remind me that I’m still me. More than just a mom, more than just a wife. Me.

I’d love to hear about your little moments – perhaps you can inspire me to take a few more!